Better this way

thats what i'm telling myself but is it really how i feel? i don't really know.... its a bit of relief and a bit of sadness. hey u can't blame me for being a little sad seeing we were together for more than a year. i was even planning on buying her something special for her birthday. guess that thought just flew out the window. well she said she's found another guy who treats her good, well as an ex, i'm happy for her but i'm also feeling a bit bitter. hey i can't place the whole blame on her even though this is my blog, but i should shoulder some of the blame. i'm was never a very good bf and i still believe i'm not. i think i'm not sensitive enough to a girl's needs and a bit too selfish. back home i have a little book which is kinda like my diary but its about my past relationships and the times when i feel sad. i think it helps me to release the stress inside and just put it into words and into the book. i think it helps me to forget the pain and the sadness. ppl say life has its ups and downs well i keep my ups in my head and my downs in my book. well this blog is becoming that book. cheers to all who's reading this... welcome to my dark world. hmm.... well that was pretty bitter. guess that comes after the shock... what's next? oh yeah the sleepness night and then moving on to greener pastures or in this case, to more beautiful women! haha i can't believe i'm writing this... guess i better get started hiding my old photos of her.